The Bennetts of Beijing: marriage market, Chinese-style

‘It’s all about the hardware and the software’, said Lisa, our knowledgeable 32 year old Beijing guide. She looked surprised at my blank look and set about explaining the Chinese marriage market.

‘Hardware’ is what the person can bring to the relationship that will ensure a secure future – a job, property, savings, parent’s jobs and their financial security, number of siblings. ‘Software’ refers to what the person looks like, their personality, hobbies, whether they have similar background. I naively asked about love and whether hardware or software scored higher. She looked at me to see if I was serious, and answered that, of course, hardware outscores software. Love is nice if it comes along.

Lisa is a typical Beijing girl. She moved from Xian, is married to a boy she knew in high school, has a 5 year old son and will not have any more children. They own a flat in the 5th ring (minimum 2 hours to the centre of Beijing) and have parents living next door who can pick up their son after school. Like their friends, their aim is to educate their child well. She doubts whether they will ever be able to move closer to the city.  She seemed positive, happy with her life, and content that China was heading in the right direction.

I had just come from a conference in Hong Kong where a paper on demographics in China by Andrea den Boer illustrated the stark realities of the One Child Policy. Her conservative estimate was an oversupply of 30 million or more men who will never marry.

The realities of the marriage market were openly on display in Shanghai, which is a dynamic city reeking of financial power, architectural self-confidence and a lust for progress.

Yet in the People’s Park, the genteel and antiquated practice of parental matchmaking proceeds. Row upon row of open umbrellas rest on their sides, with an A4 page of information attached, and an elderly parent sitting behind. Each umbrella advertises their child’s height, salary, job, property owned, personality and anything else that will help sell the boy or girl. Other parents peruse the umbrellas, evaluate the ‘merchandise’, and set up meetings for their unmarried children.

I was reminded of the world of Jane Austen and importance of a secure marriage. Love was important but economic security was even more important. The One Child Policy means there is no extended family, no cousins, aunts and uncles, to help out. Yet the marriage contract is vital for upward mobility for children and support for parents in old age.

In modern China, Mrs Bennett would feel very much at home.

Jenny Lindsay is the CIS General Manager and Co-ordinator of the Liberty & Society Student Program.