Same-sex marriage isn’t same-sex parenting

There’s no one case ‘against’ same-sex marriage, but a common theme is that same-sex parents aren’t as good for kids as biological ones.  This is centred on the premise that marriage is primarily about raising children, but the premise is flawed. The nexus between marriage and children is already irreparably broken — and not by same-sex families.

There was once strong social pressure to ensure parents were married and stayed married. This even led to routine adoption of babies of unwed, mostly teenage, mothers between the 1950s and mid-1970s. There was a time when having children out of wedlock carried a social stigma. It no longer does.

The rate of ex-nuptial births (those outside a registered marriage) remained under 10% between 1910 and 1970, but has risen steadily since. By 1990 it was over 20% and by 2010 had reached 34%. Additionally, the 2011 census found more than one in three couples (married and defacto) are childless.

Moreover, in many ways the legal rights of defacto couples are now all but indistinguishable from married ones. People are getting married without having kids and people are having kids without getting married.

The legal and societal position of married parents (gay or straight) vs unmarried parents is a serious challenge to the notion that there remains a traditional meaning of marriage to uphold.

Hence the rhetorical sidestep of same-sex marriage opponents to focus on heterosexual, biological parenting vs LGBTI parenting, which brings an obvious disconnect: preventing same-sex marriage will not prevent same-sex families.

The law doesn’t recognise the prerequisite of same-sex marriage before allowing same-sex couples to become parents. Same-sex couples can adopt in NSW, WA and Tasmania (with moves for similar laws in Victoria and South Australia). Lesbians can access IVF, and surrogacy has long been accessed by same-sex couples.

As at June 2012, the ABS noted there were 41,000 Australian same-sex couple families. The 2011 census found 12% of same-sex couples had children living with them. There are also undoubtedly LGBTI people among the 961,000 one-parent families in the 2012 data. Same-sex parenting exists in the absence of same-sex marriage and will continue to do so.

The simple fact is that, for good or ill, society has moved past the ‘traditional’ meaning of marriage. While anyone is welcome to campaign for its return, seeking to uphold that meaning solely in respect of LGBTI couples is ignoring decades of social change.

 

Simon Cowan is a Research Fellow at The Centre for Independent Studies.